


Coffee Assholes

by mmmdraco



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Barista Stiles Stilinski, Flirting, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 12:30:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5743927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmmdraco/pseuds/mmmdraco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the tumblr prompt "I’m a barista and you’re the obnoxious customer who comes through and orders a venti macchiato while talking on the phone the whole time so I misspell your name in increasingly creative ways every day AU" Only I went with not just macchiatos?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee Assholes

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Coffee Assholes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5865820) by [JakeJensen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JakeJensen/pseuds/JakeJensen)



Stiles sighed as he scribbled a name on a cup and passed it on to Isaac to fill with Nanci-"with an i"-'s raspberry butterscotch latte with toffee bits. It was a too-many-frappes-and-off-menu-shit kind of day and the assholes were out in droves. The man next in line seemed no different already.

"There's no way we're letting go of that contract, Peter. It draws in ten percent of our managing expenses alone. I don't care if cats make you uncomfortable!" The man speaking loudly into his phone paused just long enough to look at Stiles, his jaw jutting out as though he was trying to establish dominance in a freaking coffeehouse. "Venti macchiato. Derek." And then his phone was back against his ear as he said something about sales figures and held out his credit card.

Stiles picked up the correct cup and his Sharpie, wrote "Derrick" just to attempt to return some of the assholedom out into the universe (certainly not because Derek was ungodly hot and Stiles wouldn't mind plumbing his depths), and passed it down the line as he grabbed the man's card and charged the correct amount, then gave him the receipt to add tip and sign. The man left more tip than the drink cost, so Stiles smiled (maybe he was aware of his actions?), but was quick to feel justified in his purposeful name misspell as the man didn't even look at him again. He got his coffee, Stiles got some of that tip, and all was well.

His next shift brought Derek back (although it was an overcast day which generally meant less frappes, at least), this time browsing something on a tablet. "Tall vanilla latte. Derek." He shoved his card over, Stiles had to cough to get his attention to sign the credit card slip (though, again, the tip was pretty good), and thus Stiles felt more vindication that he'd used another spelling that day, "Daric".

It became kind of a thing. For the better part of two months, Derek came in every day that Stiles worked (maybe even the days he didn't) and he never paid the slightest bit of attention, but continued to tip well enough that Stiles considered the weirdly spelled names which only got weirder enough of a punishment that he never tried to pass the wrong order down the line. Darach, Derych, Daerok, Darruk, Dairoch...

The fact that the man's order changed with virtually every order was interesting, too. He never seemed to glance up at the board before ordering, just firing off an order for what was most commonly a latte with some kind of flavoring. And the snippets of conversation or bits of tablet screen he managed to see? Pretty fascinating itself. The only problem continued to be that Stiles couldn't even actually provide customer service because two months had passed and the man had never said anything but his order and his name. 

On a lark, he went all out on the spelling on the day Derek ordered a venti hazelnut latte with a drizzle of chocolate syrup - "Daerryq". It was a slow day for once so he actually got to make the drink in addition to just taking the money, so he got to be the one to hand the drink to Derek at the end and did so with a grin. "I hope I spelled your name right. You didn't specify."

Derek's brow furrowed as he glanced from his tablet to the cup, then he snorted with laughter and looked up with a grin. "It's not, but now I'm thinking of changing it. The q really brings a lot to it. Are you new here?"

Stiles rolled his eyes. "Really? I've been at the register almost every time you've come in for months. I knew you were attached to your electronics, but to not even recognize me? Wow."

"I'm..." Derek scratched at the back of his neck and cleared his throat. "I just moved to town a few months ago and I'm moving my business over. I bought a house out on the preserve and it turns out I have no cell service out there and they can't run a landline for some reason so I have satellite internet and that sucks because it's out in the woods so I've been having to use every spare second to answer calls and emails. Trust me, I'm not normally this much of a jackass. It shouldn't happen much longer, though. It turns out that if you throw enough money at a problem, you can usually make it go away. I'll have some kind of super fast connection in a few days that means I can actually return calls when it's convenient for me and not when I could be talking to a cute barista."

Stiles snorted. "So, flirting. Is that something I can continue to look forward to or is it just part of jackass Derek's schtick?"

"I guess it depends on whether you're open to it. Does your nametag say Stiles?" Derek leaned in closer to see, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Yup. A nickname for something that makes what's on your cup look easy to pronounce and remember." Stiles shrugged. "Really, though, is it D-E-R-E-K? Because I've spelled it a different way every time you've been in. This is the first Q, though."

With a nod and a sip of his latte, Derek gestured toward the counter where someone was hanging back to look at the menu board. "Do you work tomorrow?"

"I do." Stiles pulled the Sharpie from his apron pocket and gripped the cup around Derek's fingers, scribbling down his own name and number. "But I also text. You look a little older so you might not know this, but texts can often get through where calls can't."

Derek rolled his eyes. "I'll keep that in mind." He paused. "By the way, the latte? Definitely the best I've had here. Do you always have such a way with syrup?"

Stiles bit down on his bottom lip for a second. "If you're lucky, you'll find out. Now I need to go do my job. Shoo!"

And when Stiles got a text later that day that just said "I'm still thinking about you and syrup", he added the number to his phone under the name "Derek With A Q" and shot back with his own text of "If you think the syrup's good, you should see me work with cream."

**Author's Note:**

> This was written to just kind of make myself write and sat very-nearly-finished on my hard drive for months so, uh, I finished it? Also, I used [this page](http://hubpages.com/family/How-Many-Ways-Can-You-Spell-Derrick-Derek-Daryk) for reference on the ways to spell Derek. So, yes, Darach can be pronounced Derek and that gives me other ideas... but they're weird ones for those fics I'll never actually write.


End file.
